November, 2003
Articles in this issue:
Celebrity Legal Issues: "Bayonne Bleeder" Sues Rocky; Vows to Go After Adrian, Pauly, Mick, and Butkus Next
Issue: Must Sylvester Stallone Compensate Chuck Wepner for Continually Using Wepner's Name to Publicize the Movie "Rocky" Without Wepner's Authorization? Wepner v. Stallone, Superior Court of New Jersey, Law Division, Hudson County.
Virginia Legal Matters: Pistol-Packing Art Teacher Suffers No Critics; Students Oddly Well-Behaved
Issue: Does Va. Code Ann. § 18.2-308.1(B), barring the possession of a gun on school property, require pr1oof of criminal intent to support a conviction?) Esteban v. Commonwealth, No. 022524, 2003 WL 22462176 (Va., Oct. 31, 2003).
When is a Used Car Worth $150,000 Under the Virginia Consumer Protection Act?
Issue: Must Plaintiff Elect Remedies When Jury Returns Two Verdicts Due to Alternate Theories of Recovery? Wilkins v. Peninsula Motor Cars, Inc., No. 022983, 2003 WL 22462311 (Va., Oct. 31, 2003).
National Legal Matters: Aahhhhhhhhh! Ouch! Oooooof! Smile, You're on Candid Camera!
Issue: Did a Candid Camera skit constitute battery, infliction of emotional distress or other tortious conduct? Zelnick v. Paxson Communications, Cal. Super. Ct., County of Los Angeles, No. BC274299 (Nov. 4, 2003).
A Note from Ed McPhillips
I Was Told There Would Be No Math
When it comes to math, I can calculate batting averages, slugging percentages, and ERA's with the efficiency of Big Blue, the IBM supercomputer which whooped that Russian guy in chess a few years ago. Out of the sporting context, however, my math skills erode quickly.
Gratuitous
Lawyer Joke
Dave: I hear you lost your case. Did your lawyer give you bad advice?
Fred: Oh, No. He charged me for it.
In that vein, effective January 1, 2004 I am raising my hourly rate from $95 to $100 per hour. The rate increase is directly related to the hyperinflation in the U.S. wartime economy, a rapidly tightening supply of case law and statutes, as well as price gouging by the international legal research cartel. Or maybe not.
While my practice has been growing smartly (thanks again to all of my clients), I am raising my hourly rate because I can multiply by $100 off the top of my head much easier than by $95. This change will free up minutes of valuable research time so that I can have a chance to read the Wall Street Journal online in peace once and awhile.
I do not intend to raise my rate again any time soon since multiplying by $105 is no easier than $95. I still will be charging $20 less per hour than I was in 2001 at a certain legal research firm in Charlottesville. I will, of course, continue to provide high quality, costefficient, and timely legal and research and writing to my clients. Any baseball research will be done free of charge upon request.